Let's Get Real About Expectations by Bryan Russ Performance Coach

When was the last time that you were disappointed.  Did a person or circumstance deprive you of something you REALLY wanted?  Think hard and take a moment to reflect on a couple of examples from your own life......no really, give it a try........All finished?  The situations that are running through your mind may have happened at different times in different places with different people and for different reasons, but they all have one thing in common:  For better or for worse, life did not meet your expectations.  And if life is always finding ways to defy them, how can you know how and when those expectations are appropriate?  Not sure?  Well, neither am I completely, but I can point you in the right direction.  And guess where I'm pointing....right at YOU!

So go back to that first question but from a different perspective: When is the last time you disappointed YOURSELF?  Ouch, that hurts.  It can leave you angry, upset, guilty, lacking self-confidence or some confusing combo of all-of-the-above.  Yeah, it's tough when others don't meet our expectations, but it's a whole other rollercoaster when we exceed or fall short of what we expect of ourselves.  So how can you make sure that you aren't disappointing number 1?  It all starts with setting both the easiest and most difficult expectation you could possibly give yourself:


Go ahead and say it.  It sounds so simple; you are in total control of this one.  At the same time it also sounds terrifying, to leave it all on the line for what you desire.  Maybe for you this will still be soccer 10 years down the line, but expecting this of yourself is central to any goal that you wish to achieve.

During my time working in professional soccer, I was often lucky enough to listen in when the head coach would go around the locker room asking players to explain their career expectations.  Many answers were common:  "I want to make an MLS roster"..."I want to score at least one goal every other game"..."I want to be a legend".  But, there is one answer that will always stick with me and it went something like this: "No matter where I end up, no matter what level I reach, no matter how many games I win or lose, I want to become the best player that I can possibly be.  I want to realize my own potential."

That same potential is in you, whether you choose to express it through soccer, writing or a little bit of everything in between.  I can't promise that you'll be the greatest of all time or that everyone will know your name, but I can make you one guarantee.  Regardless if you make the team, if things go your way, or if life meets your expectations, you'll be able to look in the mirror with no regrets because you gave everything you had.  And even though you probably won't be seeing the someone you expected, you will be a beautiful sight to see.