Summer is here and it’s a time for tournaments and practices and fun. The purpose of tournaments is development , team bonding and fun.
You’ll notice I use the word fun a lot. Soccer is a game and it’s supposed to be fun.
I went to my first tournament this last weekend and saw some great games. Lots of kids working hard and having a good time.
And then I watched the final game between two teams of girls who are around 14 years old. During this game, some parents decided to belittle the opposing players. These parents did everything in their power to harass, humiliate and embarrass, these young girls.
Neither the coach or the assistant coach said anything to the parents. The other parents on the team said nothing to these parents, and by doing so became complicit in the harm these parents were doing.
This is a tricky situation, because the parents of those girls being harassed could not defend the own children without being carded by the ref. The other team’s coach and the assistant coach could not do anything to help these girls without being carded by the referee. When the game ended, the coach did speak with the other coach. So the next question is, where was the Ref?
Generally I stand up for the Ref because he has a tough job. During the course of the game, the good calls and the bad generally even out. But in this case there was no evening out. Children are taught to respect adults, and when the difference in power is such as between an adult and a child, someone needs to stand up for the child.
Words hurt. These girls were subjected to cruelty from adults and not only were the girls affected on the field, but the repercussions went on after the game was done.
There’s a saying, “evil flourishes, when good men do nothing. “ In this case, bullying flourished, when many adults stood by and watched silently. There’s no excuse. None.